The Catch Chronicles
by J.D Killian
Summary: Stories about and not limited to a guy traveling the worlds' in an attempt to cure boredom. Not much to say, really. Potential action rating is over 9000, but currently not so much on the action yet.    Would be rated M for Manly, but...
1. Chapter 1

Catch Chronicles  
**  
Warning**: First chapter is a cross-over to the Sailor Moon universe. No specific season, since I'm no expert. Oh well. This fic will eventually contain potentially R-rated stuff, so get out, kiddies. But not this chapter, at least. Eventual fan service cross-overs are inevitable, this is a FAN fiction. Be warned again, I am not a Sailor Moon fan, so expect some butchered personalities. I'm sorry in advance.

No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit is desired from this work. Something-something-something, I guess. I dunno. All rights to respective authors/owners/etc.

* * *

"Maybe there are some characters who aren't meant to exist. Some combinations of traits that make a character too 'strong' on paper. _Maybe_ some combinations of traits are too _strong_ to stay fiction. Perhaps I am one of those characters. I'm real, now. Still can't manifest in your world, but I can still talk through my author. To tell you the tales of my adventures. Maybe, just maybe, you'll enjoy them. _Your mileage may vary_.

"Maybe I should start a little with who I am. What I am. You can call me Zane. Zane Akechi, officially. I answer to a lot of names, though. I am a traveler. Of worlds, to be specific. And time, apparently. Although I prefer to pretend that all worlds and times are next to each other and overlapping in a timey-wimey ball. As you can tell, I have no fourth wall. Everyone else, so far, that I have met, does, though.

"I'm about six foot two, with flowing bishie-quality emerald hair, and pale gray eyes. Very, very stereotypical fandom craft, on average. I apparently have a set limit to my powers, but they're so expansive that I stopped around the time I figured out I could compress time for myself to the point where I can basically throw a million punches a second, if I have to. Without breaking my hands because of the physics involved. Yeah. I'm way, way too strong.

"I suppose a monologue might not make a great first chapter, but I can't really say I want to start off with some deranged cross-over into another world. But I guess that glowing green spiral portal really doesn't want to give me a choice. Here we go."

Zane stepped, gingerly, into the portal, waving his hand over his shoulder as he went.

* * *

"Well, this world is pretty normal. Nothing obvious to indicate where I am."

And then a Kaijin attacked. Zane blocked the incoming punch with the back of his arm, the sleeve of his _badass longcoat_ was apparently undamaged, even though the thing had spikes AND blades on it's hand. Claw. It was most certainly a claw. Zane countered with an improbable roundhouse kick, sending the monster of apparently Japanese origin tumbling away. He remained in the position resembling leaning over from the waist, to make a quip.

"Well, that narrows it down to about one third of Japanese hero fiction. Lets see... Kamen Rider? I could only be so lucky. The last time I dealt with something other than, the little girls were too busy cuddling my coat and loving my hair to help me fight it."

By this time, the monster had not only gotten up, but run away.

"It should have known better than to attack a character with technicolor hair anyway."

And then the teenage girls showed up. High school girls. _Five_ of them. And surprisingly... They didn't seem to be charging up to help deal with the (ironically escaped) monstrosity. They'd been shopping. One, with long, long black hair, noticed the badass longcoat, and technicolor hair, and pointed, whispering something to the one with the azure bob-cut, while _pointing_, the audacity of it. Zane walked over.

"Let me guess..."

He pointed to each in turn, starting with the blonde with the twintails, going down the line in rough order.

"Usagi, Ami, Rei, Minako, Makoto?"

As he expected, they got defensive. Guessing five girls' names is one thing. Guessing them all right, _in order_, would sort of set off a blip on anyones' radar. The fact that these were the Sailor Senshi just made them even _more_ cautious, and at this rate, Zane was going to get a beating. The tall one with the rich chocolate hair spoke up.

"And you are?"

"Zane. Dimensional travel, and all-around hero of a million worlds. Not that you'd believe that."

"Of course we wouldn't. What kind of story is that? Do you think we're stupid?"

"Stupid? No. I don't think you're stupid. I think you've heard grander, more ludicrous stories in the past, and are fairly smart, perhaps more-so than myself. Anyway, the Kaijin got away, too bad. I'll go look for it, you enjoy your shopping, alright?"

"Kaijin?"

"Yeah. It looked to be some sort of vine-based monstrosity. I dunno, honestly. It felt out-of-place."

"Out of place how?"

"Like it's from a different world. Anyway, I think I ought to get looking for it, I don't think it can shape-shift. At least, not into anything remotely human. See you around."

After which, Zane walked over to the nearest alley, happening to be the same he'd fought the monster in, and jumped at the closer wall, then kicked off, and wall jumped up to the top of the buildings, pulling out a small camera phone. It didn't turn into anything, actually. But he did press a few buttons, and a floating holoscreen showed up. A red blip headed away showed against the green and gray map of the area, and Zane followed by leaping deftly from rooftop to rooftop, following the map with one eye. The other, of course, was on buildings on the path. When the red blip stopped, Zane took the opportunity to close the distance a great deal with a short-range teleportation technique, landing just behind the vine monster. He turned off the phone, slipped it into his pocket, and stood facing the vaguely plant-like creature. He pointed straight at it.

"Stop, fiend! I am Zane! Warrior of justice, Traveler of worlds! In the name of the moon, I will punish you!"

"Wow, stealing my line much?"

The blonde from earlier had somehow caught up, without her friends. Zane couldn't even begin to comprehend the Ex Machina that had created that appearance. He didn't question it. Instead, he just shrugged.

"So what if I did? It's not like I _expected_ you to use it."

The girl pulled out a wand of some sort, and did something flashy with it.

"Moon Prism Power, make-up!"

Well, the ensuing actions are fetish fuel so complex I cannot dare begin to lay my masculine tone to it. It's easier seen than described with words. Anyway, once it was over, her outfit was... A Sailor Senshi uniform. Zane sighed, and kept his eyes on the monster. Too young, too young, too young, too young. No lechery.

"Well, lets get this over with, got it?"

She pulled off her tiara, and nodded with a sort of confirming sound. Zane crouched some, prepairing to jump at the vine creature. Sailor Moon was the first to make her move. She threw the spinning, glowing Tiara at the monster.

"Moon Healing Escalation!"

The Tiara-chakram struck the monster, and froze it in place. This may or may not have been the intended effect of the strike, but Zane saw it as an opportunity.

"Catch Kick!"

Zane jumped at the monster, swinging his leg around in a stronger (than earlier) leaping roundhouse kick at the monster. His foot was followed by a trail of silver-white energy. The arc of his kick followed perpendicular to the arc of the Tiara, and the resulting collision left the monster with a large cross-shaped energy residue hanging over it, as it exploded into a potted plant.

* * *

A while later, Zane stood with the now-civilianized Sailor Moon, and nodded to her. She was a bit dorky, now that he thought about it, but he wasn't going to mention it. He shrugged, and a green portal opened, signaling his next adventure awaited.

"See ya, or not, Kid. Hope things go well for you from here out."


	2. Chapter 2

Catch Chronicles

**Warning**: Onto a world I'm more familiar with! This fic will eventually contain potentially R-rated stuff, so get out, kiddies. But not this chapter, at least. Eventual fan service cross-overs are inevitable, this is a FAN fiction.

No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit is desired from this work. Something-something-something, I guess. I dunno. All rights to respective authors/owners/etc.

* * *

And the portal he exited wasn't green. It was listening, like water, and silver. Like a pool of mercury. He figured that limited it to about 19 worlds. The fact that it was a wasteland, perfect for fighting in, narrowed it down further. The guy in pink armor and the guy in blue armor fighting a guy in black and gold armor pretty much confirmed his suspicion. The guy in brown felt he was standing next to looked at him with a startled stupor. Zane didn't notice him until he looked.

"Narutaki. This is the World of the Rider War, isn't it? Decade will destroy all past riders."

"Yes, that's right. Damn you, Decade!"

"Narutaki, I'm not Decade."

Zane's face bordered on deadpan seriousness. Then he turned to the riders, fighting it out for god knows why. He shrugged, and walked over. He noticed late that Kuuga was, aside from in Rising Ultimate form... Ultimate Rising form? Too many adjectives. He couldn't recall. Also radiating purple smoke. He was definitely evil right now. Okay, that's easy to fix. He jumped in, and kicked Kaito in the stomach. He grabbed the now-dropped DiEnd Driver, and pulled out a few sheets of paper.

**Rider Ride: Te-Te-Te-Tendou Souji!**  
**Zecter Ride: Ka-Ka-Ka-Kabuto!**

A lean, attractive man of an age no greater than twenty-five stepped out of the resulting silvery portal, followed by a small red kabutomushi robot. He slapped on a belt, and the beetle flew into Tendou's hand.

"Walking the Path of Heaven, Destined to rule over all. I am Tendou Souji. Henshin!"  
**Henshin**

He swiped his hand, holding the beetle, across the belt, and left the beetle there as a buckle. A pattern of hexagons formed across his body, armor forming in it's wake. He nudged the horn on the beetle with his thumb. The armor split into many pieces, releasing steam in the process.

"Cast Off."  
**Cast Off. Change Beetle.**

The upper body armor shattered off in all directions, clipping Rising Ultimate Kuuga. After this, a small silver device with a red horn-shapped handle and a red button on it's back showed up, and Tendou caught that as well. It more flew into his hand, anyway. He attached that to his hip armor, and used the pad of his thumb to push the red handle down.

"Hyper Cast Off.  
**Hyper Cast Off. Change Hyper Beetle.**

With this, the armor became more elaborate, gaining gold detailing. After this, a sword and three more insect robots appeared, the Perfect, Sasword, Drake and TheBee zecters. They gattaied and Tendou lifted the sword. He pushed buttons, one by one, on the sword. Decade and Zane took this opportunity to jump well out of the way. Kuuga charged Tendou.

**Kabuto Power. TheBee Power. Drake Power. Sasword Power. All Zecter Combine. Maximum Hyper Typhoon.**

Kabuto slashed at the charging Kuuga at the last second with the Maximum Hyper Typhoon, striking him across the chest. Kuuga went flying, and his transformation shattered, leaving Yuusuke defeated on his back. Zane tossed the DiEnd driver back to Kaito and He and Tsukasa undid their transformations. Tendou posed with his finger pointing skyward, before a mercury-portal absorbed him and took him back home.

"Didn't know the DiEnd Driver could do that." Kaito.

"Well, it's amazing what you can do with white paper and a sharpie."

Zane held up two sheets of paper, both roughly the size of the cards used by the Dien- and Deca- drivers. They had some random black markings along one side, and Zane crumpled them into his hand, dropping them.

"So who are you?" Tsukasa.

"Just a passing-through dimensional traveler. I solve problems. Not problems such as 'What is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy. I solve practical problems. For instance, how am I gonna stop a big mean mother-Hubbard from tearing me a structurally superfluous new behind? Got it memorized?"

"That made... No sense. I can't tell you how stupid that sounded. But that greenish portal behind you looks inviting, so wander on, traveler. Unless you're a Kamen Rider, at which point we have to fight." Tsukasa.

"I think we can fight even if I'm not a Rider, so are you sure you really want to push your luck, Tsukasa?"

It was singularly a shame that Tsukasa already had the Decade card back in his hand, and Kaito had even decided to join the fun. Zane put his hands in his pockets, and shrugged. He didn't care, they could have it their way. Burger King style. Zane was perfectly willing to lay the smack-down on these two showy guys, and he could do it pretty easily. He watched the two transform simultaneously, and pulled his hands out of his pockets. Brass knuckles wouldn't do him any good, but these weren't brass. Some unknown metal, he never thought to ask the name. Practically indestructible, capable of intercepting most attacks, that sort of thing. The only reason he needed them were for the simple fact that they were completely unbreakable. He would be punching hard, and it'd hurt to have broken hands in the process.

"Alright, lets go!"

Zane said as he jumped straight towards DiEnd, half-expecting to get shot, before he swung a right hook straight at the gunman's jaw. The hook landed, and DiEnd toppled like a house of cards. Zane was disappointed, but he turned to Decade.

**KUUGA AGITO RYUUKI FAIZ BLADE HIBIKI KABUTO DEN-O KIVA**  
**FINAL KAMEN RAIDO- DECADE**

After a potentially sickening bit of recursion, (More-so than most recursion, considering the transition was paced in a fairly stop-go way, though your mileage may vary on that one) Decade stood in his Complete form. Tsukasa held the Ride Booker Sword Form, and slid his fingers across the blade. He silently charged into battle, ready to fight for real. Zane quickly moved away from Kaito's unconscious form, ready for most anything, but tripping on an incapacitated Kamen Rider wasn't on that list. He punched the Ride Booker's blade to counteract an incoming swing, then delivered a knee jab to Tsukasa's stomach, sending him stumbling back a few feet. Tsukasa stabbed the Booker into the ground, and grabbed the K-Touch. As Den-O Liner Form materialized in holograph form, Tsukasa slipped the Final Attack Ride: Den-O card into the DecaDriver, and slapped the driver itself.

**Den-O**  
**Final Attack Ride: Den-O**

Some Train Tracks formed under Zane's feet, leading to the space between Decade and the Den-O Illusion, and Zane shrugged, waiting. He'd time his counter. That's what he'd do. The Densha Giri was coming, and he'd be ready for it. His first punch struck heresy, his follow-up strike was a blow against all that was holy. He defeated the Den-O illusion, then Decade complete form in rapid succession. He stopped as he looked over at Di-End, who was on his feet.

**Final Attack Ride: DiEnd**

"Fuck." Zane.

He turned his back, and let the plot armor his coat and hair had absorb most of the damage, before he was sent tumbling to the ground next to the portal.

"Onore, Dikeido!" Zane.

He fled through the portal, unharmed but thoroughly embarassed.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer: **_Rabid fanboys be damned. I'm writing Marvel U, and you can't stop me. This universe is officially 9001, and it's (EDIT: Almost) exactly like 616 except for the events contained within.

All copyrights belong to their respective holders, et al.

-thisisadisclaimerbreak-

Deadpool sat, wearing his mask and eating Peanut butter cups. He had nothing to do, because nobody would hire him this week. So he was eating Candy in a grungy apartment in the middle of nowhere. Then he had a thought, which will be henceforth noted in _Italics_. And if I can figure out how to use the highlight feature on Fanfiction, will be highlighted in Yellow.

_Wait. Wait. Let me get this straight. I'm eating with my mask on? It's not even hiked up over my nose. Suspicious. Wait. Wait. Where are my little yellow boxes? I can't see you, little yellow boxes! Wait! I can't see _**ANYTHING **_except white and black letters. Cascading black letters. They're typing. They're replacing my little yellow boxes. Wait, what is this? Who's writing me?_

That would be me, Deadpool. Think or talk as you prefer. It won't change much.

"Well, if that's the case, I don't know you. You're new, and you're not writing for Marvel, are you? That makes this... Fanfiction." Deadpool shuddered, and ate another peanut butter cup. When he finished, he resumed.

"I don't mind this whole eating-through-my-mask thing. Refreshing, sort of."

I'm glad you like it.

"But if this is a fanfiction, then where's the mary-sue? Wait, wait. Lemme guess. She'll show up through a portal in three... Two... One... … … She's not here yet." Cue portal, I'm just that kind of sadistic. Zane crawled out of the portal, and landed on Deadpool's floor, before standing up as if he hadn't just soaked up the concussive force of what equates to a beam-freight-train. He stretched and scratched his scalp.

"But she was supposed to be adorable. This one looks like a man! And you even used a masculine pronoun!"

"I am a man, Deadpool. And thank you, but Marty Stu, not Mary Sue. My only weakness is the Not Quite Dead Asspull, apparently."

_Wait, how does he know my name? Shouldn't he at least have a fourth wall?_

No such luck, Deadpool. He's on this journey because he's got no fourth wall, and therefore needs to collect items of great power to breech his way into the author's world, where having a 4th wall theoretically has no effect what-so-ever. Hopefully.

"Unless, of course, , I show up and my fourth wall shows me an author above yourself. God ,as it would easily be interpreted. Created your kind in his image-" At which point, deadpool was forced to interject.

"Wait, you're saying this chapter is a pro-christian author tract? I feel so cheap!" And then his sword was drawn. Zane didn't even pause to consider it. He just shrugged, and waited for Deus Ex Machina. Then it came. Ninjas flooded the apartment they were standing in.

"Okay, well. Deadpool, don't get me wrong, you can feel cheapened all you want, but this isn't an author tract. Even if it were, you're not even under a pretense of being canon, so it doesn't matter anyway."

"But it matters to MEEEE!" The pair continued to ignore the ever-pressing ninjas.  
"Oh, right. Ninjas. RAAAAAAAAAH!" Deadpool threw himself into the fray. Zane... not so much. He was still wearing the knuckle dusters... Then he, on the spot, started staring at ninjas... Then he materialized a sword out of highly concentrated heat, which turned what it touched into plasma. Which would've made it a feat, if it weren't just a ludicrously easy trick that just vented energy into that heat. And then he engaged the ninjas, and slowly, as they got stronger, realized that he was undoing the inverse ninja strength rules.

"Don't you mean Conservation of Ninjutsu?" Deadpool, of course.

When did you turn into a troper?

"When you wrote me that way. Obviously." Deadpool, again.

"How and why does this sword work, exactly?" Zane, curious about the ludicrously pseudo-scientific description of his weapon.

I don't really know.

"Then it doesn't. Give me a Katana." Zane again. And so he found sheathed to his back a Katana, bearing some magical affinity that makes it unbreakable. Then the Ninjas fled, realizing that they'd actually start dying now that things made sense again. Then someone else entered the room, carrying a large four-pointed staff-like weapon with blades on each end.

"Lu Bu. My greatest nemesis!" Deadpool said, completely out of left field.

Uh, I hadn't planned...

"Aw, come on. Can't he be Lu Bu, from DW: Strikeforce?" Deadpool, once again.

….Fine, just stop dialoguing, this is going to look like a goddamn MESS on fanfic.

"What a loser, you can't even post it on dA?" Deadpool

SHUT UP AND FIGHT.

Deadpool pouted, visibly hurt, and turned to Lu Bu.

"YAY, It's really you, Lu Bu! This way, I get to say I beat up the greatest warrior in the Three Kingdoms era! But wait... If the ninjas were as a group..." Deadpool began to do complex geometry in his head, before Lu Bu jumped at him. Zane jumped between them, and stopped Lu Bu's giant and completely ridiculous weapon with the Katana. He even got so far as to cut most of the way through the staff part, before the katana somehow got outhaxed and snapped in two.

"That's what I was afraid of." Deadpool concluded, now wearing a pair of comedic, fake glasses for the point he was making. He turned to the fourth wall again.

"IF this is fan fiction, I should have extra powers, right? Like the ability to... Do this!" He turned, and kicked, phasing through Zane and hitting Lu Bu in the jaw. Lu Bu just laughed, no blood on his lips. Deadpool started counting seconds in his head.

"You think that sort of pathetic kick can stop me? That's nothing to my power! I cannot die!" He said, before the little clock Deadpool had imagined over his head ticked down to 0. Suddenly, Lu Bu exploded in a shower of gore. Deadpool was splashed by none of the icky blood, as Zane was in front of him, shielding him from harm.

"All part of the plan, Author." Deadpool.

Shut up, Deadpool. When did you learn Hokuto Shinken anyway?

"I read it while you were taking ten months to write this chapter." Deadpool.

Eight months.

"Close enough. Zane, is it time for you to leave? Our time together was so pleasant, but you must get on to less distractingly complex worlds!" Deadpool said, and pushed Zane into the green portal that had formed in Lu Bu's corpse.

Deadpool, of course, had one last thing to say, but I decided to leave it off, we've already referenced too much this chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Stuff is Copyright people. I intend no infringement with my work, I am just writing it to kill some time. I don't want any damn money for this crap. It'd feel like stealing from the people who paid for it.

Thanks. Love you guys.  
~End Author's Note~

"Well... This is interesting. How'd I end up here?" He spoke of the vast desert flowing around him... Winds and sands in every direction. He sighed, and looked down at his coat. Still covered in blood and bits of Lu Bu. He shuddered, then swept the horizon with his eyes. He saw a trio of small black dots moving toward a much larger hill in the sand. Except the hill was rectangular. Since there was nothing else to do, he shrugged.

"May as well head that way." He said, before kicking forward, leaping from the top of one dune to the next.

_Twenty foot horizontal jumps. Very little vertical in the same attempt. Hm... Lets see._

He swept his arms out at his sides, and frowned when nothing happened. Then he tried to focus his will into his hand, and failed to form a sword or a blast of energy. He had no idea how to test for Cursed Fruit-based powers, so he skipped those. He sighed, and brought his hands in front of his chest, releasing a series of hand seals... before a charge of lightning formed around his hand, and he glared at it with all his hate.

"Naruto-based chapter? Really?" He increased the pace of his jumps. Whatever he was supposed to do, he figured it was this way. Which, of course it was.

The Hokage happened to be on an errand in the Land of Wind that took him very close to the Village Hidden in the Sand, so he figured he'd drop in on the old man who'd trained him most recently.

"I haven't seen Walter in... Oh, several years, right?" He asked the air, aimlessly. His companions wouldn't know, but that was really alright anyway, wasn't it? They didn't need to know his history to guard him. A young lady with pure white eyes perked up, then.

"To the west. Unknown, possibly hostile. Male, He'll intercept in less than thirty seconds. He's using the Lightning Release technique Chidori!" She spoke with haste, the large veins or wrinkles or whatever on the sides of her head somehow giving her nearly-three-sixty degree vision. She wrinkled her nose.

"Hokage! Don't do anything stupid! Head to Sand, we'll hold him off!" The other said, sitting astride his massive hound. The beast's muscles and legs pumped underneath him, and he waited for the Hokage to accept the offer.

"Idiots, you think I'd just leave you to fight an unknown hostile on your own? Haha, you're out of your mind!" He said, pulling the bastard sword free of it's scabbard, and he smiled as the eye in the blade awakened. The Hokage pressed his eyes shut, then opened them again, letting the crimson irises of his Sharingan show brazenly.

* * *  
Zane saw the group of three far, far later than they saw him... and had a feeling they'd be fighting before too long. The tall, lean male in the lead, wearing the crimson-flamed black cloak looked to be the leader, and flared with the most power of the three. He had scruffy black hair and looked handsome, but not beautiful. Zane frowned at the young lady with him, dark black hair and skimpy clothing hidden under a heavy canvas cloak to guard against the sand. The third, with his hound, didn't interest Zane in the least. Zane figured he could take that guy out with one strike, if he were careful...

Because he knew, of course, he wasn't getting off without a fight. He took the hand charged with that blue-gray lightning, and drew the sword from his pack, channeling the lightning into the weapon's metal blade. He smiled, and held the sword, blade facing away from the swinging arc, smiling.

"Cover your eyes, friends!" The tall, dark-haired individual known as the Hokage smiled, forming a very, very small Rasengan in his palm, slamming it into the desert beneath him. The young lady pulled her headband down over her eyes, and the other man simply closed his eyes. The hound's shaggy fur kept the sand from it's eyes, and the three stopped there in the sand-cloud, waiting for the unknown ninja. Zane and the young girl with the white eyes could "see" through the cloud, but Zane was at a loss at the moment. They'd obviously stopped, but this whole thing looked like a trap.

"Well, traps are always fun." Zane announced, speeding up even more. He readied the blade down and off to the side, because he could certainly manage to counter-attack the first strike. Once he cleared the edge of the cloud of sand...

The first swing of Semimaru's sword was intercepted by the glowing blue edge of Zane's Katana, and the Hokage was promptly outpowered, being pushed back several steps by the brute force Zane used to push the bastard sword aside. He then smiled, tossing the sword into the sand, and slamming his hands together in rapid succession.

"Trying to fight me is pointless! I'm beyond you!" Zane spoke with casual surety, and his tone sent a shiver down the spine of the young Hyuuga woman, but she dashed in regardless. Her fingertips struck out at Zane, but he managed to sense her killing intent, and twisted at the last moment, catching her in the side with a hard kick, his technique itself interrupted.

At this point, the sand was starting to settle down on the shoulders of Zane's coat and in his hair. He looked over at the young Hokage, and frowned at the green portal behind him.

"What. That's it? This is a ripoff." He said, before dashing toward Semimaru, ducking to the side at the last second at speeds not even Sharingan could read properly, then pushing himself straight toward the portal. He was through it before the ninjas could even react properly.

And of course going into a portal at a hard dash had it's drawbacks. Specifically, you came out at the same pace, with the same momentum. Zane then proceeded to remember he'd just left his sword behind, and sighed, but he was surrounded by...

Men, in silver-gray armor, waving the flags of the Oda clan. He stopped once he realized what he was surrounded by, and sighed.

"Give me a weapon. Pick something flashy and unique." He asked the fourth wall. Of course he would. Needy bastard, you've got fucking superpowers, and you want a weapon? How lazy. Use the Chromatica Engine, if you want my advice.

"Fine." Zane stood perfectly still, completely focused on his thoughts. He dug around, and found the magical abilities Chromatica Engine deep in the back of his head, then smiled.

"**CHROMATICA ENGINE, ENGAGE**!" He spoke the words in a thunderous boom, finally catching the attention of the soldiers surrounding him.

"Those guys are kind of slow, huh?" Zane asked, smirking. Then he looked around at them, and smiled. "What is it, boys, afraid?"

"An intruder! Get the Demon Queen!" The closest old man bellowed, and before his sentence finished, a seeping black shadow formed on the ground. Hands, then arms, emerged from it, disgusting shadowy things. Zane frowned at the black shapes in the darkness, but couldn't rightly say why they scared him so much.

"Oh... A guest... Is it time for tea...?" The soft, breathy voice asked casually, as her beautiful body was dragged from that sludge by those black hands. "What a lovely butterfly... Oh, another one..."

"Oh, right. Now I get it. Vindictive rage mode, activated. Chromatica Engine, full power. How dare you, Remnants of Oda, force this poor girl into battle!" Zane spoke like he was dictating a script for another person to recite. His heart just wasn't into it. He'd done this sort of thing before. It never really ended well.

Oh well. The lights sparked and flitted around his body, and he really felt like going ballistic on these pathetic men and their silly dreams of reviving the Oda Clan... The more he thought about it, the more it pissed him off... The girl was obviously out of her mind, depressed and as far as Zane could tell, she wasn't sleeping at all.

"Are you tired, lovely woman? Would you like to sleep?" He asked, approaching slowly. The hands lashed out at him, kept her vertical, but they could not touch him. The Lights slashed them away without fail.

"Sleep... I can sleep now...? I'd like that..." She whispered with that breathy voice, and Zane just nodded, and pulled her into a tight hug, looking out at the Oda forces over her shoulder. He slumped back onto a makeshift platform, levitating and made of golden light. He held the woman close to his chest, keeping her warm.

"Sleep now... I'll protect you..." He whispered softly, the words laced with a strong magic that sent her straight to sleep. The ichorous black shadows fading away as her eyes closed. Zane watched the Oda forces stand in awe, before Zane simply looked upon them in a scornful way. They regrouped and prepared to charge a moment later...


	5. Chapter 5

Sengoku BASARA © Capcom or whoever owns the anime or both or whatever. Yeah, don't sue me, it'll cost you more money than you'll ever be able to get out of me, and anyway I don't want the money people might decide to send me for this pile of rubbish anyway.

Remember, this is a fanfic. If you like it more than the canon, well... Don't bug me about it. Reviews, please? I want to know if anyone is reading this.  
~Author's Note; Fin~

It had been a long trip, for sure. The young woman he'd decided to take care of was still sleeping among the small caravan of flexible soldiers who had repented their attachment to Nobunaga's reign. Twenty-seven horses, less than two hundred men, and two people of mass destruction... It was not exactly a fantastic force, but Zane'd overcome worse odds in his day. Such as killing the six hundred other remnant soldiers alone not two days prior.

He still hadn't found his ticket out of here, and he had no clue where that ticket might show up. So, he''d decided, he'd go see 'Lord Happy' at Mikatagahara, before he moved on.

"Ooh... A dragonfly..." The soft breathy voice hovered in the air for a moment, and Zane's heart skipped a beat. Oichi was awake, which generally ended one with sending her back to sleep. It was just safer that way, for now. It seems the Demon King was still capable of influencing her heart from his eternal damnation...

"Good morning, Lady Oichi. Did you sleep well?" Zane smiled softly at the dark-haired young woman. He saw the dragonfly, so she was more lucid than she had been recently. That was a start. Meanwhile, the small pull-cart they were riding bumped along the ground.. His hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail. They were only a few hours from Ieyasu's current location.

"Very well, thank you. And you, Mister Stranger?" Oichi's voice had perked up. She'd had such a lonely dream, and having company now made her smile.

"Only a bit. But iit's enough, Lady Oichi. I think I am going to walk with the men, and perhaps get you some food. Is there anything special you'd like, if I can find it?" He spoke in a calm, casual tone, reassured further by her clarity. He shifted softly, before pushing himself to rest crouched on the balls of his feet. He'd personally had this carriage constructed for Oichi's privacy, so it was, in the simplest terms, like a confessional, with two barely-separated compartments. Of course, the only way out of Oichi's without tearing it to pieces was through Zane's, but it locked from both sides.

"No, I will eat later. Where are we going?" She asked with a cheery kindness. Zane didn't know if this was who she was before, but he knew her memory was still... gone. Almost completely, in fact.

"We're going to see Lord Happy, to see if he can help you get your memory back. And to see if he can help me continue with my journey." Zane spoke candidly, as the caravan suddenly stopped. Something in Zane's stomach turned over. _I need a weapon. Something, anything, quickly, Author._ Of course, the weapon he was hoping for appeared, though it was nothing so dull as the Scimitar the Author had considered giving him. Zane stepped out into the light, and checked the weight hanging from his back, feeling, one by one, the handles of the set of seven swords. _Stylish. And effective._

"Good man, why've we stopped?" Zane asked the nearest soldier, before looking forward up the collumn. An army, clad in blue, marched along in front of them in endless number, yet nearly thirty squads... over two hundred men themselves, had started to file down the ranks of the Oda remnants. Zane cursed his luck, and left the axe hanging from his back. He walked forward, along the edges of the forces he'd taken control of, and sent as many of them as he could back to protect Oichi. He didn't want her fighting.

"You men. Which lord do you serve?" Zane called out once he was close enough to the front squads. He didn't want to fight here or now. Not with how close they were, not with how strapped for resources he was. He left the swords sheathed, hanging from his back.

"We are the forces of Oshu, warriors under the banner of the Date clan. Why do you travel with those who would wear the armor of the Demon King's forces?" The closest man replied, wearing black and gold armor under a blue Haori jacket. It fit the description of the forces he had claimed to be a member of.

"These men are no longer loyal to the Demon King, they've found a more powerful leader in myself. Those who were still loyal are now corpses, rotting in the dirt for their sins. I wish simply to lead these men to Ieyasu, so I may resume my journey in peace!" Zane said, and the man who had spoken suddenly appeared to have been struck stupid. Then he mulled over something else the man had said.

"Ieyasu Tokugawa is dead, killed by the Mori clan, didn't you hear?" The man replied, which caught Zane off guard. This... could only end poorly.

Of course, Zane had no time to carry on wiith this conversation, what with the aggravating young swordsman who'd just leapt from the foliage at Zane... with a wooden sword. Zane blocked it freely with one of the shorter swords hanging from his back, frowning.

""Let me guess. You're Musashi, aren't you? Leaping out at people isn't very sportsman-like, is it?" Zane asked, still deadlocked with the young swordsman. He pushed Musashi away with a strong shove of the blade, a grumpy look in his eyes. This look, of course, was tempered by the soft blur of pink at the corner of his eye.

"Ah... Lady Oichi... You're up and about, then?" Zane had a sheepish look on his face, and the Date forces were looking at each other like they'd just been conned. Zane sighed.

"The Demon Queen...? You're transporting the Demon Queen?" The Date soldier asked.

"Yes. Yes I am. Is this going to end with me slaughtering hundreds of your men? I'd rather Lady Oichi not witness that." Zane turned to Lady Oichi, and frowned.  
"Bad girl, coming out and getting me in trouble."

"I-Ichi is s-s-sorry, Mister Stranger..." Oichi looked a little bit ashamed, if not on the verge of tears. Zane felt terrible.

"I was just teasing. Oichi, don't... Don't cry! Augh. Now look what you've made me do. Just say you're sorry, and I won't have to kill my way through the forces of Oshu!" Zane spoke, rolling his head to face the soldier from Date's army. The man didn't like the look in Zane's eyes, nor how he made the Demon Queen cry so easily... Nor how he seemed as dominant in this situation as the Demon King himself had ever been.

"I'M SO SORRY, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!" He screamed, falling to his knees. It was a wonder he didn't run screaming like every man behind him. Zane smirked and twirled the sword in his hand, putting it back into it's sheath. He turned his head to where Musashi had been standing, and found that the man had taken off just as quickly as he'd appeared. Zane sighed, before walking back over to Oichi, wrapping his arms around her gently.

"Now, now... I'm sorry I yelled at you, Oichi..." His heart beating calmly against her ear calmed her down quickly. She sniffled, then looked up at Zane. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead softly._ Bad week, huh? _

"You... Forgive me, then...?" Oichi asked softly.

"Of course, Lady Oichi. I think, since we won't be moving any time soon, we should eat. Don't you agree?" Zane spoke with a wide smile, happy just to avoid bloodshed. He figured they were moving in three collumns, squads of seven each... twenty thousand men would march past any given location in... Oh, that'd be a while. Longer than it'd take to get to Mikatagahara, but... there was nothing there for him anyway, was there?

"Didn't that man say Lord Happy was dead? What about Lord Grumpy? Would he be able to help you?" She was referring to Mitsunari Ishida, the moon to Ieyasu's sun. But if Motonari Mori had slain Ieyasu... Then surely Mitsunari had already fallen as well? What of the forces of Shingen? At least Date's forces could still march. That meant Masamune and Kojiro were still standing. That was a good sign.

Zane frowned, and looked at Oichi. He ran a hand through her hair, and smiled, before pulling way and shrugging his coat off his shoulders, wrapping it around her shoulders.

"Lady Oichi, eat. Continue to Mikatagahara, and wait for me there, alright? I'll come for you, no matter what. As long as you have my coat, I will return to you. Wear it always. I've got business I must investigate." He said, before smiling softly and taking two steps back, seven swords floating at his back unassisted. He looked Oichi in the eyes, then smiled, waving his goodbye. He'd given her that coat to remind her that there was someone who cared about her, who wasn't dead yet. Hopefully, it'd keep her safe and lucid. He flexed, the tee shirt standing out against the rest of the setting even more obviously than his coat. But he needed to get moving, and fast, so he had no time to get armor.

"Goodbye, Mister Stranger. I'll see you again soon." Oichi spoke after careful consideration, hugging Zane's coat tight around her shoulders. She looked like she'd be lonely, but her eyes said it would be fine. Zane smiled and leaned forward, kissing her forehead again.

"I'll only be two or three days, at the most. Take care of yourself, Lady Oichi. You, spread the word among the forces. Lady Oichi is to be taken to Mikatagahara, and she is not to be harmed or forced into battle at any costs." Zane.

"Of course." The footman replied, before Zane dashed off into the brush, headed East. He had two destinations... The fortress-like Ueda castle, and Kawanakajima, likely in that order.


End file.
